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Delusional disorder , previously called paranoid disorder, is a type of serious mental illness called a "psychosis" in which a pe...

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Fargo Parental Kidnapper Given Parole

Fargo parental kidnapper given parole, but children still on SD reservation

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News Fargo,ND 58102 http://www.inforum.com/sites/default/files/styles/square_300/public/0B5WzNj8WWJ6_Y3BLbkRqUUZzeDA.jpg?itok=Yuxlwqnf
INFORUM
Fargo parental kidnapper given parole, but children still on SD reservation
Fargo ND 101 5th Street North 58102
FARGO – A Fargo mother who was convicted of parental kidnapping and whose daughters are still on a South Dakota Indian reservation with her half sister has been granted early parole, much to the chagrin of the fathers.
The 3-0 decision by the North Dakota Board of Parole will allow Tricia Taylor, 33, to be released Nov. 5 from the state women’s prison after serving about six months of a two-year prison term. Parole board chairman Duane Houdek said Taylor also served about five months in the Cass County Jail before her conviction last April when she was sent to the New England, N.D., prison.
He also defended the decision by saying she was a non-violent offender and didn’t have a criminal record.
However, the two girls, ages 2 and 7, still aren’t back with their fathers who have been granted full custody by a North Dakota state court.
Houdek said it was the board’s understanding that the Cheyenne River Sioux Reservation where the girls were taken has assumed jurisdiction and taken custody of the girls.
It was his understanding that “even if she wanted to, she couldn’t return them.”
However, the family spokesman for the fathers, Michael Nygaard of Fargo, disagrees.
“All Tricia has to do is make a call to her half sister and this is done,” he said about returning the children. “Tricia is trying to get the tribe to take custody of the girls, but we have received notice … that they will not do this but want the tribal court to make a decision on custody, which has not been determined yet in the tribal court. Tricia wanted the board to think that she is helpless in this matter while that is not the case.”
The two fathers -- Aarin Nygaard and Terrance Stanley, both of Fargo -- and their families are somewhat in disbelief she was granted parole.
“We just can’t believe it,” said Michael Nygaard, who is Aarin’s uncle.
One of the fathers’ attorneys, RoseAnn Wendell of Pierre, S.D., said, “I think it’s a slap in the face.”
Custody battle
It’s now been more than a year since Taylor took the girls on Labor Day weekend in 2014. Since then, the fathers have been fighting through the tribal court system on the northwest South Dakota reservation for the girls to be returned to them. They’ve spent more than $40,000 on legal fees, and have set up a GoFundMe.com page and a donation account at Gate City Bank.
They haven’t seen the girls either, although Tribal Judge Brenda Claymore did say last month at one of numerous hearings on the case that they could visit the girls who have been staying with Taylor’s half sister -- Jessica Ducheneaux -- in Timber Lake on the reservation. However, neither father has attended the hearings this year because their attorneys do not want them to succumb to the jurisdiction of the tribe.
Even if they could arrange it, Michael Nygaard said they didn’t want to have a visitation on the reservation. “After discussing it, we thought it would just be too disruptive.”
So, the situation has turned into an example of how people can get caught up in the legal limbo between state and tribal courts.
On one hand, the state courts want tribal courts to respect their laws while the tribal courts want state courts to do the same.
Wendell, who describes herself as a “blonde white girl” who has been arguing cases on South Dakota reservations for years, said when she first started her chances of winning any cases in tribal courts were about as good as being the “Easter bunny.”
She said she has developed a “good relationship” with the Cheyenne River tribal officials and is “cautiously optimistic” that the girls might be returned to their fathers at the next hearing in tribal court in Eagle Butte on Oct. 29.
“I think she (the judge) knows that legally, procedurally and substantially that the law favors returning the kids to their dads,” Wendell said.
However, the judge could face a political backlash on the reservation if she does give up the two girls from the reservation and may even face the loss of her job as the judge serves at the pleasure of the tribal chairman, which is the case on most reservations.
Moreover, Wendell said this custody case has been played out a lot in social media and has drawn a lot of attention.
“However, I think there’s been a lot of misinformation,” she said.
There have been allegations from Taylor that she has suffered physical and mental abuse from Aarin Nygaard and his family and that he sexually abused the older daughter.
In a petition that was sent to the parole board, another Taylor extended family member, Jennifer Ducheneaux, wrote that “for years she (Taylor) has been dealt verbal abuse, physical abuse and harassment from the Nygaard family.”
The allegations infuriate the fathers and their families.
Cass County assistant state’s attorney Tristan Van de Streek backs up the fathers, saying there was an intensive investigation by police and other agencies into the abuse allegations but the evidence was insufficient.
“No way could we win the case with the evidence we had,” said Van de Streek, who also prosecuted the parental kidnapping case against Taylor. He did say a confrontation between Nygaard and Taylor at one point in their relationship, however, did land Nygaard with a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge, although it was later dismissed.
Another judge --- magistrate judge Susan Solheim of Fargo -- also has reviewed the relationships and the case and granted the fathers full custody, plus issued two contempt of court charges against Taylor.
State and tribal courts
The custody order, however, remains the focus of the dispute with the tribal court.
Wendell said these type of battles between state and tribal courts happen more than a person might think.
“Do people seek refuge on the reservation? Yes,” Wendell said.
She has seen other custody fights linger on reservations for years or in some instances not even make it to court -- another example of how jurisdictional issues can drag on between state and tribal courts.
“Sometimes it’s ‘good luck’ trying to get anything done,” Wendell said.
Because of that, some people simply give up as it gets “too hard, too stressful and too emotional,” she said.
Wendell said this case is somewhat different, however, not only because there has been the parental kidnapping conviction but because the fathers and their families are sticking it out and not giving up.
“I give them a lot of credit for keeping up the fight,” she said.
Meanwhile, Michael Nygaard said he worries that when Taylor is released from prison, she’ll go to the reservation and then they’ll never see the girls again.
However, orders provided by the parole board state that she can’t leave North Dakota without obtaining advance permission from a parole officer and she must also have a travel permit. The order also states that she must waive extradition from “any jurisdiction” where she would be found and not contest any effort to return her to the state.
Michael Nygaard said if the fathers aren’t awarded custody at the end of this month, they will try to move the case to federal court.
Judge Claymore and Jessica Ducheneaux did not return phone calls on the case or couldn’t be contacted.

Copied from Forum News Service

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Parental Alienation Awareness-The Grown Up Child

As a young teenager, I had a brush with parental alienation.
While standing at a sink washing dishes it was declared to me that one of my parents must not love me.  Then I was assaulted with all the twisted evidence to prove their claim. The lack of phone calls, the apparent lack of interest, and of course the lack of child support all while I was assured that my ‘other’ parent had always provided all of those things for me. The propagator of this garbage got incensed when I asserted that I was indeed loved by both my parents, and I was shrilly asked what evidence I had to prove it. When I couldn’t provide any, I was told that my lack of any ‘real’ counterpoints merely confirmed their argument. And the debate was over. I was told again that I obvously wasn’t loved by ‘that’ parent.
I remember that night so well. Each word felt like a rock being hurled against my skin. I remember the anger that raged within me and the sadness that threatened to overcome me. I fought with all my might to hold back the tears because crying felt like defeat and I wanted more than anything to appear strong in the shadow of my perpetrator. Even twenty years later, remembering that night and writing this post, I can feel my heart beating faster and a tightness in my throat.
On that night, the alienation was not done by my biological parent but that didn’t matter. It was an adult.  An adult who knew better and who’s care I had been entrusted. I was alone and they had all the power. The damage was done and that moment of our lives can never be retracted. Over the years, my hurt and anger has faded, and has been  replaced by a sliding scale of disdain, pity and indifference. But trust is another matter. The trust is gone and no matter how many years pass, it eludes me. At the time I felt like I was the one being attacked, but now I know that I was merely collateral damage in an attempt to hurt and gain power over ‘that’ parent.
Yet understanding only brings me that, understanding. Everything else remains.
Sunday April 25, 2010 is Parental Alienation Awareness Day. And although there is much debate about what actually constitutes parental alienation or if the syndrome even exists, this grown child of divorce simply wants to spread this message: kids of divorce have enough on their plates without having to negotiate the impact of someone negating a parent. Chances are, they are already dealing with anger toward their parents, guilt about those feelings, shame about the characteristics they have from their other parent, and of course the stress of living through the trauma of divorce and anything else that came before and after it. They really don’t need anything else.
The other thing I’d like to inform parents, step parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and the like, is that the damage inflicted by this kind of abuse is significant and leaves very deep scars. You may be angry and you might even feel a bit better after lashing out or having your say. But for that child, whether it be for days, weeks or even years, that child will hear those words you spoke to them every time they look at you. Even long after you’ve forgotten them. Truly whatever benefit you may feel by getting things off your chest will be far outweighed by the negative impact you will have on that young person’s heart.  And if you are able to force your way of thinking on that child, realize that your short sighted gain will one day be lost and a day of reckoning will come. And in those particularly heinous cases, know that it will come even harder.
I remember witnessing one day a child of divorce coming home from her non custodial visit.  Her mother became displeased with her behaviour and said to me and all those around that she always acted that way when she came home from her dad’s house. The mother also added that she felt her daughter’s poor behavior was a reflection of her father and was evidence of him rubbing off on her during their time spent together. A moment later, after her daughter said something out of line, she sarcastically called her daughter by her father’s name. Her daughter crumpled into a pile of angry tears and my heart couldn’t help but break a little as the scene played out before me.
When it comes to putting down a child’s parent, the rules are simple. Don’t do it. It’s not like telling ‘yo mama’ jokes with your friends. That child is not your equal and with your power comes a great responsibility.  Your words carry a sense of authority and will cut more deeply than you know. And what’s hardest of all for us kids is that we will undoubtedly see some truth in what you say, no matter how loudly we dispel it. I think the author of The Divorce Encouragist said it best when she wrote, to speak ill of your co-parent is to tell your child, “Honey, I love you. But biologically, you are 50% jackass.”
Yes, that’s exactly how it feels. 

Copied from The Grown Up Child

Parental Alienation Awareness

by Carolyn on April 25, 2010

Monday, August 31, 2015

Traits of a Narcissist Parent

Traits of a narcissist parent:
Lies compulsively to their child
Neglects the child’s needs
Puts the child down and makes the feel insignificant
Acts as though they are always right
Contradicts behaviour constantly by telling the child how special they are
Tries to create a co-dependent relationship
Has to be the centre of attention
Uses manipulation and gaslighting to create drama
Totally self-absorbed, the child is seen as a nuiscance
Uses the child as a tool to gain financial wealth or material goods
Has an excuse or an explanation for everything, never takes responsibility
Rules with an iron fist so the child is in fear
Will criticise constantly but pretend it is for the child’s own benefit
There are no boundaries, the parent feels as though they own complete access to all the child’s private emails, phone calls, relationships etc.
Blames everyone else for everything that happens to them
Tries to gain sympathy by pretending they are emotionally vulnerable
Seems to take great pleasure through causing drama
Image means everything to them so they will not appreciate the child doing anything to disrupt it
Uses emotional blackmail
Extremely jealous and will sabotage their child rather than see them do well
Puts the child on display so that others think they are a great parent
Pushes the child to extreme levels to do well so they can brag to others about how well they have brought them up
Makes the child feel as though they are not good enough